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  The Top 14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out

14> You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name,
    and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.

13> You: Large, hairy man.
    Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.

12> Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable"
    but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."

11> After months of shared experiences and emotional investments,
    she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a +5 Vorpal Sword
    when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.

10> "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from
    you again."

 9> Your cyberlover is just too busy editing that silly little
    Top 5 List.

 8> Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference
    to cutting her chin shaving slip by.

 7> You discover that she has been cutting & pasting her orgasms.

 6> You can barely make out your SO's face in the JPEG she sent
    because she's obscured by her 25 cats.

 5> He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF
    looks like some geek who works for a software company.

 4> Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fast!@cyber-promotions.com
    has become cold and distant.

 3> She's suddenly changed her address to comingout@lesbian.com

 2> Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship
    with the mysterious "tubby@whitehouse.gov"


         and Top5's Number 1 Sign Your Online
          Relationship Isn't Working Out...


 1> In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of
    your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the
    geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.